My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
