he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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