I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
