i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
