Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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