..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
