everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
