I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
