You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
