You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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