I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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