Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
