woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
