he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
