What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
