i don't like sucking hair
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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