Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
