Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
