Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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