i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
