well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
love makes seman taste better
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
