If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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