Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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