they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
