I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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