I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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