Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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