Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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