I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
