gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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