Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
