Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize