oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
