Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
