WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
