The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
