There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My vagina just recognized that song.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
