Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
