No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
