a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i believe in u and ur pee
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