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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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