if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
