So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
