youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
