well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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