I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
