If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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