Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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