he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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