good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
