I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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