im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
