Porn is love you can see.
that's an acceptable place to lick
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
