An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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