Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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