Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize