You really coming over, don't trick.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
