stop calling my apartment porn island.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
