you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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