she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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