Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
