from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
